Resurrection.

Life has been... well a whirlwind of hectic since my last blog posts. I lost my beloved Grandmother, who not only helped raise me, but taught me how to be the woman that I am today. Ended and unhealthy relationship that had dragged on for far too long. I've changed schools, changed directions, changed living arrangements so many times that it almost hasn't been worth documenting.

This year I am a new woman, at least I am fervently committed to be. I have discovered that all of my misdirected and unfinished creativity and educational endeavors are not a result of my laziness or of being and underachiever or a failure.

No Doctors, I am not depressed. No Doctors, I do not just have an anxiety disorder. No Doctors, you have misdiagnosed, improperly medicated, and left me feeling helpless for as long as I can remember reaching out to you for guidance.

Instead, I have been made aware that all of my life I have been fighting, compromising and overcompensating through a neurological disorder.

I am an adult woman with ADD.

After living a lifetime of negative self talk, battling for the motivation to complete every day tasks and giving up on every single one of my dreams I am finally not alone. I know who I am, I know what challenges I face and I have plans and a support system of medication, treatment, and loved ones behind me. I am learning to love myself for who I am, instead of who I have always expected to be. I have hope now.

I still knit.
I still write.
I still love.
I still dream.
I still want to learn... so much... everything.
And I will.